Each time a man stands up 4 an ideal or acts to improve the lot of others or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.
Journal entry 06/22/05
Beginning in the early nineteen fifties as wide-spread access to in-home TV began, our knowledge and perception of children has come, in large part, from popular TV personalities. From Art Linkletter‘s “kids say the funniest things“, to Mr. Rogers’ serene neighborhood; to learning with Big Bird & Barney, to having fun with Bill Cosbys’ “hey, hey, hey”, our idealized child was bright, happy, knowing, loving and virtuous. The child development experts, from Dr. Spock, to Dr. Brazelton and, now, Dr Phil were more than ready to validate this version of what a normal child could be if only they were “appropriately” nurtured.
A disconnect occurs when we try to reconcile this “model” child with all the real children that we know. A source of the disconnect is how few of our children are “appropriately” nurtured. While the details of “appropriately” would undoubtedly be debated, I believe a consensus exists for the broad elements
of such nurturing. The elements would include: safety, consistency, respect, affection, positive reinforcement, caring inter-action, play, talking, reading and holding. The providers of this nurturing can
be anyone who can “genuinely” offer such nurturing. The sad and troubling reality is that there are vastly fewer providers of “genuine” nurturing then there are children to be nurtured.
Little mention will be made of the obvious outcomes resulting so often from the absence of nurturing parenting. Generations of single moms (both young and those not so young), school drop-outs, bullies, and, in too many instances, non-feeling, loners that do monstrous deeds. Far too few in our society ever develop an understanding of their own self -worth and therefore are unable to imbue others with it. Lacking a sense of something (anything) having value, it easily is concluded that all things (including lives) are value-less. And value-less things need no consideration, or compassion or other human emotion.
My focus, instead is on this question: “if parenting (or it’s absence) is so powerful in determining who we become, why do we leave it to chance.?” One would expect that we would forget about everything else and concentrate our full attention on improving the chances (e.g. “increasing the odds”) that we end up with individuals who understand and respect the notion that all of our individual actions, good/and bad ones, come with some consequence attached like a shadow. And, alas, that the individual gives a damn about that consequence.
Now we are engaged in a great (civil) war, testing whether that nation, or any nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war.
The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us ?that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion ?that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain ?that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom ?and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth. (in part - the Gettysburg Address)
PARENTING IN AMERICA---INCREASING THE ODDS
About the Author:
It's time for less talk, more action. Nay. It's past time. It's past time for the "united people" of the "united states" to "unite". No partisanship. No right/left wing. No religious bias. No racial lines. No gender lines.
Who wants to start?
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